One Track Mind, Four Track Heart
by iamdelilah
Summary: Hiatus? After seventeen years with Jason, Shane finds himself pregnant. With two kids already, how will Jason take the news? How will the family cope when problems arise? Sequel to Carpal Tunnel of Love and No Barricade to Call My Own.
1. Introduction

**A/N: You should probably read Izzyjonasgurl's sequel to Carpal Tunnel of Love. I posted the link to it in my profile, so check it out before you read this. It'll help a bit, and it's pretty awesome. :D**

* * *

**Shane's POV**

Life after Lizzy's speech was peaceful. It had been two days since Jason came home when we were sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast with the kids. Christian was babbling about how he was sick and needed to stay home from preschool. He just started the day before and everyone knew he just wanted to be with Jason. He missed him. Everyone did.

"Dad," Chris begged, looking up at me with his big blue eyes. "Pleeease? I have a fever."

"Chris, Honey, you have school," I argued sympathetically. I was trying my hardest to be firm, but like Jason says; I'm just not.

"Aww, Shay," Jason cooed. "Let him stay home." He turned to Liz. "What about you?"

Lizzy shook her head. "Sorry, I can't. I mean, I'd love to but I have a test today." She took a sip of her orange juice, setting the glass back down.

"Ah, well," Jason smiled. My daughter smiled back and Jason turned to me. He put an arm around my waist and scooted closer to my chair. "You're so skinny," he breathed into my hair before kissing it. "Eat."

Laughing softly, I picked up my fork and took a bite of eggs. After I swallowed, I asked, "You don't have to work later today?"

My husband shook his head. "I took the rest of the week off, remember?"

"Oh," I sighed, rolling my eyes at my scattered brain. "I'm so glad you did."

Lizzy got up with her dishes and put them in the sink. I stood up and went over to her, wrapping my arms around her tightly. "Have a good day at school," I said softly, kissing her forehead.

She beamed at me, white teeth gleaming as she was reaching up and pushing my bangs behind my ears. "I will," she assured. "But Dad?"

"Hm?"

"You need a hair cut."

"No," Jason insisted with a short laugh, getting up as well. "No, no he doesn't." Elizabeth quirked an eyebrow at my husband and reached up, pushing her hair from her face. Jason did the same thing with his own bangs, not breaking into a smile. They shared a laugh and Jason took Lizzy in in his arms securely, hugging her. "Bye, Liz," he whispered. He squeezed her once more and pulled back. "I'll be here when you come home today."

She smirked. "Promise?"

"Promise," Jason confirmed, kissing my cheek.

Chris got out of his chair and rushed over to his older sister. Izzy bent down, a smile still on her face as she hugged him. "Bye, Chris."

"Bye, Izzy!" he squealed, kissing her cheek. "I love you."

"Love you, too," my daughter replied with a smile. She and Jason hugged once more before she headed through the living room and out the front door, car keys in hand.

Chris went back to eating, and I started to walk out of the room. Jason grabbed my arm gently, pulling me flush against his chest. "Eat," he whispered softly. I frowned, looking up at him with large deer eyes. "Please?" Jason begged. "You're going to die from manorexia or something."

I giggled, nuzzling my face against my husband's neck. "You just made that up, right?"

"Mhm. But seriously, Shane... please?" he asked hopefully. The tone change in his voice let me know that he was truly concerned and really cared about my health.

Our eyes locked and I could tell Jason only wanted the best for me. I sighed before resuming my seat beside Chris. Jason followed, putting an arm around my shoulders after he sat down.

I really missed the lack of affection we shared these past few years. Ever since we'd brought Chris home from the hospital, life was pretty demanding. Jason being at work only made things harder. At one point, he was gone from home so much that I questioned myself if he was having an affair. I talked to Lizzy about it, but she said I was being ridiculous and that Jason would never do that.

After I finished eating, I stood up and went into the living room where Chris had already gone. Turning off the TV, I ordered gently, "Go get ready for school."

"What?" Chris frowned. He shook his shaggy brown hair away from his bright blue eyes. "Daddy," he whined, sticking out his bottom lip.

"No, Chris."

"But Papa said I could stay home," he insisted. "Daddy, please?"

I heard Jason clearing the table from the kitchen and shook my head. "No, go get dressed." Christian's eyes started to water and I sighed. I couldn't keep giving in to him or he would eventually always get his way. "Don't make me get Papa in here," I threatened. Our son crossed his arms and sniffled. "Jason!" I called over my shoulder.

"I'm going," Chris mumbled before hopping off the couch and going upstairs.

Jason appeared behind me seconds later. "What?"

I turned around, grinning happily when I saw my husband's face. "Nothing, I took care of it."

"Hm," Jason responded, looping his arms around my neck. He pecked my lips lightly before smiling. "I love you."

I hugged him tightly, whispering, "Love you, too."


	2. Whoa

After Jason took Chris to school and came back I was cleaning the master bedroom's bathroom. I paused and stood up, looking in the mirror. I dropped my head and lifted my shirt singlehandedly, frowning at what I saw. I poked my tiny, almost invisible roll of fat and whined.

"Jason," I called, eyes glued to my abdomen.

"What?" he replied from the kitchen.

"Can you come here?"

"Shay, I'm-"

"Just come here!" I demanded.

A few seconds later Jason slinked into the room. "What's the matter?"

"Am I fat?" I questioned quietly, staring down at my once-flat midsection. I knew that I had gotten older over the years, but I didn't think I had gained any weight and when Jason left, I definitely lost it. Maybe that's the true reason Jason really left. He was going to flee the state and find someone else to love; someone who wasn't fat.

"Shane," Jason sighed, moving behind me and looping his arms around my waist. "You're _not_ fat. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"I was just thinking," I started in a whisper, "that maybe you really left to go find someone more attractive than me and you'd-"

"Whoa, stop," my husband demanded. "There is _no_ one more attractive than you. You're beautiful, Baby Boy," he whispered into my ear, his breath full of love and comfort. "I love you for who you are; it doesn't matter what you look like," he explained, hands roaming my torso. "Shay," he whispered.

"Hm?" I responded, leaning my head back so that it was resting on his shoulder.

"Wanna wrestle?" he asked, voice giddy and hands tickling my skin.

"We haven't had sex since before you left," I pointed out.

My husband sighed heavily, dropping his arms from around my waist. "Can you _please_ stop reminding me of that damn stupid mistake?" he practically growled. He started to walk out, head hanging in shame but I grabbed his wrist.

"Jason," replied quietly, using caution in my actions, "I'm sorry. I won't mention it again."

"Good," he smiled. "We have hours before Lizzy and Chris get home..." Jason murmured, moving closer, reaching up and trailing his fingertips down the left side of my neck.

"We have to clean the house," I reminded him. "I stayed in bed for weeks and there's so much to do around here. One round; that's all."

"Fine." Jason picked me up with a huge smile on his face, arms incircling my waist as my legs are around his thighs, and arms around his neck. He tossed me onto the bed gently and fell down beside me, throwing a leg over my waist so that he was straddling me. He pushed a knee between my legs, spreading them apart.

I giggled and put my hands on either side of his face. "What? No foreplay?" I kissed Jason lightly and he pecked my nose.

"You wanna go slow?"

I shrugged as best I could. "Doesn't matter."

Jason grabbed the hem of my t-shirt, pulling it up until it's over my head and then he dropped it to the floor. He did the same with his, and then pulled my pajama pants down to my knees. "You know, I don't get why you don't wear underwear," my husband commented, backing up and pulling my pants down all the way.

I reached out, grabbing the waistband of his briefs playfully and then letting it go. The elastic popped against Jason's skin and I giggled. "That's why I don't," I explained as he removed the undergarments.

Once they were off I excitedly grabbed Jason by the neck and shoved my lips into his hungrily, groaning when the taste of coffee seeped into my own mouth. Eyes closing, I felt his tongue penetrate past my teeth and carress the inside of my cheek, swallowing the saliva he brought with it. Jason's fingers immediately found my eagerly awaiting length that was half-way hard already. With gentle strokes he managed to get me fully erect as I kissed his collarbone and grinded against him to return the favor.

Moaning softly, I lifted my legs so my husband was lying between them. With a rhaspy whine I nudged Jason's head with my own, letting him know that I was ready.

"Lube," he reminded me, letting go of my shaft and getting out of bed. I watched in amusement as he sprinted to get a small container of patroleum jelly from the bathroom. An odd, confused expression graced my face and my lover shruged. "We ran out a while ago. I just forgot to get more," he explained.

"God, I don't care," I groaned, grabbing Jason by the wrist and yanking him into the bed. I winced a second, feeling a semi-harsh pain shoot through my abdomen.

My husband kissed my forehead and asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Hurry up."

"Okay, okay," he giggled, allowing me to hook my legs over his shoulders. I trembled with anticipation as he was popping the lid off the substance and preparing his larger-than-average cock before his fingers. He stretched me as usual for about two minutes, kissing my neck whilst he did so. After removing his figners, he traced the tips of them over my entrance teasingly.

I whined, and he did it again. After the third time, I moaned. The fourth time, I screamed, "Jason, just fuck me!"

He obeyed, thrusting into me with one swift push. I reached up, running my fingers through his silky brown hair as his lips met mine briefly. We locked eyes for a second until he pulled out, rutted back in and hit my prostate deadon.

My eyelids fell closed at that point, and Jason's length continued to brush against my most desireable spot, his thrusts becoming more violent as he reached his climax. He slowed down suddenly and attached his lips to my neck, sucking gently on the spot right below my ear. His arm came between us and he gently rolled my left nipple between his calloused fingerpads, earning a loud moan from my mouth.

Once Jason was sure he'd left a bright red mark on my semi-pale flesh, he concentrated on getting off. the rammed into me four more times until his rough pushes became so violent that the headboard of our bed hit the wall. My husband finally came, his salty warm semen spilling into my insides as he rode out his orgasm. Once the final drop of his seed was inside of me, Jason pulled out limp. He collapsed onto the bed next to me and I rolled over, immediately caressing his heaving chest with soft strokes of my gentle tongue just like he loves.

He sighed softly as he scooted closer, gripping my still-hard cock in his sweaty hands. He grips it with care, pumping me steadily and pressing the tip of his finger into my slit until I come against his lower belly.

We settled down, Jason on his back and me lying on my side, head on my husband's chest. His arm was wrapped around my shoulders, and his nose settled in my soft hair.

"You felt so good," he whispered, kissing my head lightly.

"You felt so good inside of me," I retorted, looking up at him and smiling. "Wanna sleep for a while or just lay here?" I felt my lower back being stroked and closed my eyes contentedly.

Jason asked hopefully, "Can I sleep?"

I laughed softly, burying my face in his side. "Sure, Jase. Anything for you."


	3. Sick

Hours later the soft, soothing sunlight seeped through the slightly parted curtains, causing me to slowly wake. He lay pressed up against my husband's chest, fully enveloped in his arms. My nose was gracing his bare collarbone gently. Still a bit tired, I rested my head in the nape of Jason's neck and fell back into sleep within seconds.

Around noon, I woke up again, this time to an uneasy feeling in my stomach. My husband was looking down at me with certain endearment, fingers playing in my hair.

Voice barely above a whisper, he asked with a smile, "Did I wake you?"

"No." I shook my head before leaning up and kissing him lightly.

Jason smiled and leaned down to peck my lips in return. The feeling in my gut crept up my throat and hurriedly, I pushed him away.

"What?" my husband frowned.

I took a deep breath and swallowed. The feeling went away and Jason slipped out of bed. "Sorry," I whispered, lying back down. "I feel really sick."

Jason gave me a sympathetic, loving look, reaching out and putting a hand to my cheek where he rubbed his thumb across my skin. "Are you okay?"

"Can I go back to sleep? I feel horrible..." I made the slightest movement only to slip my pajama pants onto my legs.

"Yeah, of course," he replied, covering me up sweetly. Jason placed a soft kiss to my hair and rubbed my upper arm. "I'll clean the house while you rest. Feel better," he whispered and a few seconds later, he left me to sleep.

--

The door opened loudly and I heard someone walk up beside on the bed. Groaning, I rolled over onto my back and sat up where I saw Chris standing at the edge of the mattress. "Hi, Daddy," he smiled.

I wanted to yell at him for waking me up, but I couldn't dare destroy that content look. His big blue eyes were sparkling and his hair hanging in his face just like Jason's.

"Hi, Chris," I replied, holding my arms out. He ran into them and I swung my legs over the side of the bed so I could hold his tiny body more firmly against my chest. "How was school?"

"Bad," he retorted. "Are you sick?"

"I don't know," I replied. "Is your sister home?"

Chris shook his head. "No, but guess what!"

"Hm?" I responded, finally letting go of my son.

"Jason's making _cookies_!"

"Who's Jason?"

Chris made a distorted face, cocking his head to the side. "Papa," he said, blinking slowly.

"That's exactly what you're going to call him, okay? Where'd you get calling him 'Jason' from?"

"Lizzy," he answered with no hesitation.

"Honey, you've got to understand that she's older than you and when she grew up-"

"But isn't he Lizzy's papa too?" he pondered innocently, bottom lip sticking out.

I closed my eyes and sighed softly before inhaling scent of the air. The smell of cookies filled my nostrils and sprung up, going downstairs hurriedly.

"Hey," Jason mused when he saw me. "You feeling any better?"

"I'm starving. I slept through lunch, huh?" I wanted to know.

"Mhm," my husband answered with a kiss to my forehead. He pinned me against the counter as I was chewing furiously, chomping on the chocolate chips and crumbs. "I so incredibly attracted to you," he murmured against my face.

Giggling, I pecked his lips. "You too."

--

After dinner, Jason and I agreed on paying bills and figuring out the finances for the month. I was in the middle of paying the car insurance bill when I gave up, collapsing onto the counter. Tears stung the backs of my eyes and my shoulders shook as I started to cry silently.

"Shane?" Jason asked, putting his hand to my arm. He rubbed gently like he had done earlier and pressed, "What's wrong?"

"We have a car insurance bill that's over seven hundred dollars a month!" I sobbed. "We barely have enough in the checking account for that alone and-"

"Shh," my husband soothed, kissing my hair. "Are you okay? This never got you so upset before. Baby, I think you're sick or something."

"I don't feel good again," I admitted, burying my face in his neck. "J-Jase, I just wanna go to bed."

He nodded and stood up off his barstool, taking my hand and pulling me with him. I stumbled a bit as I wiped my eyes, the crying stopping almost immediately when I left the counter.

"Oh, hey, you okay?" Jason asked, putting a hand to the small of my back and holding me up. I felt the warmth of his skin transfer onto mine and got major butterflies in my lower stomach.

Smiling weakly, I pecked his mouth in return. "Yeah, just a little tired. Oh, and could you bring me some Advil? My head is killing me," I sighed.

"Are you sure you're not sick?" my husband inquired. He put a hand to my forehead, stroking it once with his thumb. "You feel kind of hot."

Groaning quietly, I leaned against him. "I don't know, maybe I have the flu. I felt like was going to throw up earlier so that's a possibility."

"Maybe you should go to the doctor tomorrow," he suggested as we went upstairs and turned into the master bedroom. We broke apart after he pecked my cheek before exiting the room yet again.

I lay down on my side of the bed, pulling the thick blanket over my thin body as I closed my eyes.


	4. Emily

I woke up around seven the next morning. My head was still pounding from the previous night and I rolled over onto my side, seeing Jason was already up. My stomach clenched as my mouth started to water and I hurriedly ran into the bathroom, falling to my knees and heaving into the toilet. My fingers gripped the sides of the porcelain bowl and my eyes watered.

"Dad?" Lizzy asked in a concerned tone, walking into the master bathroom. She'd been up because school started in thirty minutes, and she was probably about to leave. "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" I felt her hand rubbing my back before I shook my head.

"Go get Jason," I begged miserably between heaves. There was only fluid coming out by that point and my nose started to run as well.

"He went to work today," my daughter informed me. "He told me he left you a note on- oh, wait, here it is." I glanced up at her as she leaned over and grabbed a piece of paper from the counter. "It says: _Shay, I'm so sorry but my boss called me into work early. I wish I could stay home like I planned but I can't because we need the money. I'll call you later. Love, Jason._"

"Shit," I groaned, reaching up and flushing the toilet. I stayed kneeling until I was positive that the vomiting was done with. Standing to my feet, I put a hand to my forehead. "I feel horrible."

Lizzy grabbed the plastic cup from the counter and filled it with water before handing it to me. "Are you sick?"

"I don't know what's wrong with me," I replied before washing my mouth out and spitting into the sink. My daughter grimaced and I quickly washed the froth away. "I was like this all day yesterday, too."

"Maybe you should go to the doctor," she suggested.

"Yeah, I'll make an appointment in a minute. The nurses should be there... Liz, I hate to ask you but could you stay home from your first two classes until Chris has to go to school? Then could you take him? I really don't think I can drive."

"Sure," Liz agreed.

I rinsed my mouth out once more and sighed softly. "Alright, I'm gonna go make an appointment before I go back to bed."

"'Kay," she nodded, hugging me briefly and kissing my cheek. "Love you, Dad."

"You too," I replied before walking out, grabbing the cordless phone from its base and laying back down in bed. I dialed the familiar number and waited for someone to answer.

"Kelsey Seebold, how may I help you?" a friendly-sounding woman asked.

"I need to make an appointment," I told her.

"Name?"

"Shane Gray," I sighed, rubbing my sore stomach.

"Okay, and what's the problem?" she then wondered.

I explained, "Well, my symptoms are pretty flu-like. You know, I'm extremely tired, have had fever, headaches, backaches and I threw up just a couple of minutes ago."

There were a few seconds of silence until the nurse spoke again. "Are you sexually active?"

"Um, yes," I replied in some sort of shocked tone, wondering why that had to do with anything.

"You're sure you're not pregnant, correct?"

My heart sped up just a little. "I-I'm positive."

"Your symptoms are almost identical to early pregnancy symptoms. Around the sixth week is when they start. Now when you say you're positive you're not, how do you know?"

"M-My husband's sperm count is really low, around the eight million range, and we tried getting pregnant for about three years and it never happened. We went through therapy and fertility doctors; everything. I'm pretty sure I'm just sick."

"Well, before you come in for a visit why don't you try a home pregnancy test? If the results are positive, call back and I'll refer you to a different doctor."

"Why can't I just come in?" I asked weakly. "I can't be pregnant, okay? Do you understand that we tried for _three_ _years_ and it never took?" My eyes started to water then, just thinking about the heartbreak my husband and I went through, and my voice was shaking.

"Mr. Gray, there's-"

"I just want medicine," I whimpered. "I want to feel better."

"Is there someone who can go get you a test?"

"I'm not going to have a baby," I insisted as I began to cry. "It's impossible for me to _get_ pregnant by Jason."

"Mr. Gray, I'll go ahead and put the appointment in but it would help us a lot of you would go ahead and take a pregnancy test beforehand. If it's positive, you'll need to call back and we'll talk about the next step."

"Fine," I whimpered. "Thank you." I hung up and sniffled quietly before dialing Nate's home phone number.

"Hello?" Emily answered.

"Hey," I replied weakly. "Is Nate awake by any chance?"

"No, he's not. Is everything alright?" his wife wanted to know.

"I've been feeling horrible for the past day or so and when I called the doctor's office and the nurse insisted that I'm pregnant."

"Have you taken a test? Oh, wait, do you and Jason even have sex anymore?"

I narrowed my eyes before wiping my nose on the hem of my long-sleeved pajama shirt. "Of course we have sex," I snapped. "And I haven't taken a test because I can't be pregnant! Jason and I tried to have a baby for three years and it never happened. That's why we adopted Chris when we did. He was born not long after we stopped trying..."

"Shane, you're having a mood swing. Are you just being stubborn because you're embarrassed? Nate does that all the time, that's why I'm asking."

"I can't be having a baby," I insisted. "I'm thirty-fucking-eight and I'm not pregnant."

"You know what? I'm going to go get you a test and you're going to take it. No questions asked." Emily hung up before I had time to protest.

--

Around nine o'clock when I was sitting in the living room, Emily knocked on the door.

I got up and answered it to see her smiling face. She pushed the plastic bag against my chest and ushered me towards the bathroom.

"This is ridiculous," I declared. "It's going to be negative."

"Shane?"

"What?"

"Just take the stupid test," she sighed, rolling her concerned eyes.

"I don't know how," I whispered, pulling the box out of its encasement.

"Here's a thought!" Nate's wife replied sarcastically. "Read the directions."

"I'm a _man_; I don't read _directions_," I told her.

"Oh, you're such a _man_ yet you're stressing out about whether you're pregnant or not?"

I love Emily, really, I do, but sometimes she gets on my last nerve. Kind of like an older sister. "Just tell me what to do?" I asked hopefully.

She opened the door to the half-bath in the entry way and shoved me in while explaining, "Just pee on the damn stick, Shane!" She slammed the door shut and I heard her sigh heavily, saying, "Honestly..."

I followed the directions on the box and opened the door when I finished. I had waited for amount of time to pass until the results showed up, but I couldn't force myself to look at it. I was scared and stressed, so I opened the door slowly instead.

"What does it say?" Emily pressed, hands clasped together firmly. Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked really hopeful.

"I'm too scared to look," I whispered, holding out the stick. "Can you tell me?"

She took the test and I closed my eyes, crossing my fingers whilst hoping for a negative result.

"Well, um, congratulations," Nate's wife said quietly. "You're going to have Jason's baby."

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**A/N: I'm not updating until I get at least ten more reviews, so start reviewing.** :)


	5. Remembering

"W-What?" I stuttered. "No, that can't be right." I grabbed my pee stick from her hand and looked at the little oval that read 'Pregnant.' "This thing is corrupt."

"Shane," Emily sighed, "there's nothing wrong with the test. There _is_ something wrong with you, though; you're going to have a baby! Aren't you excited?" she wanted to know.

I shook my head and walked over to the couch before collapsing down on it. "I can't believe I'm pregnant," I murmured. "I'm too old to have a baby..."

Nate's wife started, "You're only-"

"Thirty eight!" I shrieked. "God, I can't believe this." I threw the positive test across the room angrily and it landed on the floor.

"You're having major mood swings," Emily told me. "Why are you so upset?"

"I'm too old to have a baby," I mumbled yet again, burying my face in my hands miserably. "Maybe I should just abort it before Jason even knows."

Emily plopped down at the couch, a caring hand rubbing my back gently. "That's a little selfish, don't you think?" I shrugged, shaking my head. "How far along are you?"

"I don't know," I sighed, leaning back. My hand crept towards my stomach and I rubbed gently, already feeling a slight difference. Before now, I hadn't even noticed but when I saw the test result, a tiny, miniscule bump was easy to feel. Either it was because I knew I was having a baby, or it was just a mental thing.

"Well, when was the last time you and Jason had sex?" she pondered rather bluntly.

Pulling my face from my hands, I stared at her. "It's none of your business," I snapped. I was shutting her out because I really didn't want to talk about what happened right before Jason left me.

Rolling her eyes, she responded, "Mood swing. Again. I'm just trying to help, okay?"

"It was right before Jason and I had the big fight... We'd had sex the night before as a make-up for a fight we had that morning. The next day when Jason was trying to get up I was begging him to stay at home with me, but he refused..." I trailed off as the heart-wrenching moment replayed in my mind.

_The beeping alarm clock was like fire truck sirens in my ears, echoing and making my whole body tense up. My husband's arms move from around my waist and I sigh gently; softy. I let out a small whimper and reach out to pull him back into bed._

_"Honey," I whisper. "Come back to bed. You can go to work later."_

_"Shane, you know I can't," my husband almost snaps, pulling his briefs on quickly as he sits on the side of the bed. _

_I know that tone, but I can't stop my wanting him to be with me. I scoot against his back, still lying down, and kiss the small of it lightly. I loop my arms around his midsection and hug him tightly. "Please, Jase," I beg. "I need you at home with me sometimes. We hardly ever-"_

_He pulls from my grip harshly and begins to gather his clothes for a shower. "That's your whole fucking problem," he growls. "You need too damn much."_

_My heart sinks as I ask softly, "W-What?" _

_He spins around and starts to get dressed as I'm sitting up in bed now, the cotton sheets wrapped around my waist loosely. "I can't deal with you anymore. All of your constant whining and pleading; I can't stand that shit anymore."_

_Sliding out of bed, I hold the fabric around my body. My voice is small and shaky as I want to know, "Jase, what're doing?" _

_"I'm leaving. For good this time, Shane. I can't stand this anymore."_

"N-No," I beg, reaching out and grabbing his arm, causing shocks to go through my veins. I watch the rage enfold in my husband's eyes as tears fill my own. I'm crying now, and I can tell by the look on Jason's face he's trying his hardest not to hurt me physically. 

_"I'm never home and I barely know Liz and Chris anymore. I'm the shittiest parent on Earth so I'm leaving. Elizabeth has never known a normal life and when I'm gone, she'll get to experience it. She won't be tormented about us anymore and maybe she'll even get accepted."_

_Sobbing, I fall to my knees. "No! You can't! Jason, _please_!" I scream. "I can't live without you!"_

_"Bye, Shane." the bedroom door slams shut and my body is retching with ache and sadness. With my mind in a blur, I stand to my feet and hurriedly pull the curtain over the window so no light can enter. My body onto my husband's side of the bed and my heart shatters as it does so, a million shards of glass stabbing my insides._

Emily sat in silence, looking at me with her genuine, compassionate eyes. "When are you going to tell him?"

Shrugging, I groaned. "I don't know. I don't want him to get upset and leave again..."

"If he does, I'll get Nate to kill him for you."

"I don't want to be left husbandless," I admitted to Emily. Absent-mindedly, I began to twist my white gold wedding ring on my finger. I tried to pull it off, and it was stuck. I frowned, looking down at my hand. "Oh my God, my fingers are already getting fat," I whined, shaking my hand.

Emily took a hold of my hand, grasping it gently. "Just calm down and breathe, alright?"

"I want to tell Jason today," I let her know. "I need him for support."

"How are you going to do it?" Nate's wife wondered.

I thought for a few seconds before asking, "Can you go get me some balloons?"


	6. Maybe Baby

Around three o'clock I heard Lizzy unlocking the front door with her key. I rushed to the portal and slipped outside before she could get in.

"Um, hi?" she chuckled, kissing my cheek. "Dad, what're you doing?"

"I need you to go stay at Nate's after you get Chris from school," I informed her, hand nervously rubbing belly. "I can't- I have to talk to Jason about something."

My daughter quirked an eyebrow. "He doesn't get off until later, though."

"Liz, please," I begged. "It's really important. I can tell you about it later- I mean, I'll have to. It's- can you just stay over there? Even if they aren't home, you can get in with the key under the mat. I already talked to Emily so just go get Chris and stay there, _please_."

"Dad, is everything okay? Did you and Jason have another fight?" Lizzy pondered, shifting her bag onto the opposite shoulder. She reached up, brushing her bangs away from her eyes and blinked a few times.

"No, no," I denied, shaking my head. Biting my lip nervously, I sighed softly. "I just have something really important to tell him so will you go?" I asked hopefully.

After staring at me for another two seconds, my daughter nodded. "I guess I will if you really need me to. You sure there's nothing going on between you and Jason?"

I hated lying to her but I had no choice as I replied, "No, nothing's going on between us. I'll see you around seven, though, okay?"

"Sure," Liz smiled, hugging me briefly and then leaving.

--

I sat in the living room on the couch, bouncing my leg impatiently as it neared six thirty. Jason hadn't called all day even though he promised to in the note he left. I was hoping that he would come home at the usual time, and right as I stood up to go to the kitchen I heard the door of his white Cadillac Escalade slam shut outside.

Unsure of which to do first: go to the kitchen or greet Jason, I went ahead and walked to the front door, the ribbons hanging from the pink and blue balloons that read 'It's a boy!' or 'It's a girl!' tickling the top of my forehead as I went.

Opening the door, I smiled weakly at my husband who had an ultra-confused expression on his face. Walking by me, he smiled back and kissed my cheek. "Hey, what're you doing?"

"I have some news," I replied in a shy whisper. I stepped backwards slowly and as Jason entered our home of seventeen years, he stared at the pastel-colored balloons. "We're gonna have a baby..."

Jason's eyebrows furrowed as he turned to the side, eyeing me. "What?"

Shrugging, I replied stupidly in the tone of a question, "I'm pregnant?" My left hand gravitated towards my midsection where I rubbed absently. I was impatiently waiting for a reaction.

"But that isn't possible," he denied. "That can't _happen_. Oh, god, you cheated on me, didn't you?" he panicked, putting his hands over his face.

I rushed forward, grabbing his wrists gently and pulling them away from his eyes as I looked into them. "No, I didn't cheat on you."

"Then how are you pregnant?!" he demanded, crossing his arms.

I couldn't help but cringe, because when Jason yelled it was always loud and unexpected. "I don't know," I whispered.

He walked to his favorite sitting place; a large, chocolate brown leather recliner that sits in the corner of the living room. "Then how did it happen? Shane, we tried for three years. _Three years_ and nothing! And now, boom! You're thirty-eight and pregnant with my baby."

I followed my husband reluctantly and sat in his lap with caution before leaning against him. My side was pressed against his chest and my head rested on his shoulder. "That's what I told Emily," I responded gently, running a hand through his straight, brown hair.

"So that's what the balloons are for?" he wanted to know, a tiny bit of playfulness in his voice.

A tiny smile broke across my lips. "Yeah, that's what they're for."

I felt strong, protective arms wrap around my torso as Jason breathed a soft sigh into my hair. We sat in silence for a while, comforted by each other's subtle actions of affection and love. Finally, my husband spoke up in a shake whisper, "I'm going to be a father?"

His question was laced with awe and happiness like I've never heard before. I had a hunch that he was going to take this well because when we were trying to have a baby of our own, Jason admitted to me that he felt unmanly. He wanted to give me a baby so badly but he couldn't, and that hurt him like nothing else could.

"Yeah," I confirmed, closing my eyes as he held me on his lap. "You're going to be a father."

Another few moments of silence crept by and I slipped into a mindless state of contentment as the man I loved and whose baby I was carrying held me like he hadn't done in a long while. The house was peaceful for once and I felt like I was getting to experience reacquiring a long-term bond in just a few minutes.

"This is amazing," my husband told me, fingers gracing my side sweetly. "I can't believe it..."

I jumped when something hit the sleeve of my shirt and looked up to see Jason with a tear-streak on his skin, and a droplet of water sliding down his opposite cheek. We were so still and blissful that such a small molecule touching fabric that settled on my arm was felt.

Smiling, I raised my head and kissed the moving tear away, letting the salty mixture settle on my lips before I resumed my position. "I have a tiny bump," I whispered, reaching out and grabbing his right hand with my left. I moved it under my shirt as he looked down at me in amusement. Jason's warm skin hitting my abdomen caused major butterflies in my stomach as I guided him to the small abnormality. "Feel it?"

My husband pressed his fingers to my belly cautiously under my touch, and a smile spread across his gorgeous face. "I feel it," he confirmed with a slight nod. He began to rub slowly and pressed his mouth to my head, not really kissing it but just letting his lips soak into my hair. He murmured, "You're gorgeous."

A slight temperature change occurred on my cheeks as a light pink shade took over the usual pale one. "You think so?" I replied. "Even after seventeen years together, you still think that?"

"Always, Shay," Jason responded confidently but softly, voice barely above a whisper.

That was when a thought entered my mind. "Jason?"

"Hm?"

"How have we lasted so long together?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. A few seconds passed before he confessed, "Leaving you once was a mistake, but leaving you the second time was an even bigger one."

"I think I got pregnant the night you walked out..."

Jason reminded me, "You didn't get pregnant right away."

"I know, I know," I reassured. "But, like, two weeks after that. I know how conception goes. We tried for a while, remember?" A kiss to my temple acted as a positive response.

"So what do you think it is?" my husband pondered.

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"A boy or a girl?" Jason asked, giving me a tiny squeeze. "I want a boy."

"I already had Liz so I'm kind of leaning towards a boy, too," I admitted. "Either way, I'll be happy." I sat quietly for a moment until I realized something. "I'm too old to have a baby, Jase."

"Hm?" he responded absently.

"I'm thirty-eight!" I panicked, thinking about it once again. "What if the baby doesn't come out healthy? What if I die like-"

"You're not going to die," Jason laughed.

I was furious at that point, and sat upright to look down at my husband. "It isn't funny! I'm serious. Jason," I whined desperately, writhing in his lap as he tried to hold me still. Finally, I gave up and resumed the position I was in earlier. "What if I miscarry, or the baby isn't born alive or something? Maybe I should just abort it right now to save you from any heartbreak."

"Why would you even _suggest_ that?" my husband snapped furiously.

"It's going to strain my body," I let him know. "I'm going to get fat and huge when-"

"You would seriously take something like this away from me?" Jason asked in a hurt whisper. "Why?" he wondered.

"It's going to be hard and I'm too old," I insisted. "I was hoping for a negative result when I took the test..." I felt a pang of sadness hit my heart when another tear belonging to my husband hit my shoulder. Reaching up with my thumb, I wiped it away.

"Why would you be so selfish?" he wanted to know.

"Okay," I gave in immediately after hearing the plea in Jason's tone. "I'll have the baby."


	7. Brian

**Jason's POV**

A while after I got home, Lizzy called Shane's phone wondering why he hadn't called. He told her that he'd be over to Nate's house with me and we'd all go out to dinner from there. I was skeptical, though, seeing as what happened last time.

Nonetheless, I took my husband out to my car and we went to Nate and Emily's home not too far away.

The entire car ride Shane wouldn't let go of my hand. Sure, it was sweet but after a while it got a little aggravating.

When we got to the place, Elizabeth kept giving Shane and me strange looks while my husband and Emily were communicating through eye movements and subtle gestures.

Finally, once our meals were ordered I cleared my throat, exchanging glances with Shane before speaking.

"Um," I started nervously, not able to stop smiling. "Shay and I have some news." Chris continued to color on his placemat and Lizzy sat upright in her chair, smiling brightly at me. I leaned over, pecking my husband cheek before announcing, "We're going to have a baby."

Nate and Emily exchanged surprised glances and the table was quiet until Shane confirmed, "Yeah, I'm… pregnant."

"Oh my gosh, Dad!" Lizzy screamed, the words sinking in as she was jumping out of her chair and hugging her father immediately. "When did this happen?"

"I found out today," Shane replied, scooting his meal around on his plate with the fork in his hand. He finally broke away and hugged Elizabeth in return, chuckling a little at her happiness.

Because my husband was distracted, I took the opportunity to check the messages on my Blackberry. Hiding it under the table, I saw that I had a new text and opened it to see it was from Brian, my boyfriend of about four months. I had worked with his band not long before we started dating and have been seeing him secretly since then.

The message read, 'Will I be seeing you tonight? ;)'

With an aching heart, I put my phone back in my pocket. "Hey," I said softly, turning towards my husband, "I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be right back, okay?"

Shane nodded, smiling with love shining in his eyes.

As I got up and headed to the back of the restaurant, my stomach began to twist and knot.

Once I was inside of the white-tiled cubical, I dialed Brian's number.

"Mm, hey," he answered. "You got my text?"

"Yeah, I got it," I mumbled, leaning against the wall and sighing.

"Well?"

"I don't know if I- Shane's pregnant," I blurted out.

"What?!" Brian screamed in return, voice full of anger and doubt. "You told me he couldn't get pregnant!"

"I know, but somehow he did and-"

My boyfriend cut me off, asking, "Is it even _yours_?"

"Like he would cheat on me," I sighed, walking to the sink and running water. I splashed it over my face briefly and wiped the remaining droplets away with a paper towel. "I don't know what happened but I'll see if I can sneak over later tonight, okay?"

"I'm sick of-"

"Brian, I said I'd try, okay?" I snarled. "You better be glad I'm even talking to you right now."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he retorted.

"It means that I'm finally going to be a father," I snapped angrily. "You need to just grow up and let me have time with Shane."

"Why?" my boyfriend wanted to know. "It's not like you love him."

"Don't fucking say that!" I shouted, feeling angry and offensive. Yeah, I was cheating on Shane but it's not like I didn't love him. I was just using Brian to get what I wasn't receiving from Shane, and I thought my boyfriend would surely figure that out by now.

"Then why are you still with him?" Brian pondered.

"I'll see what I can do," I sighed before hanging up. Stuffing my phone back in my tight-fitting jeans, I walked back to the table.

Shane gazed at me, those big brown eyes full of admiration and I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He reached out for my hand as I took a seat, bringing my fingers to his lips and kissing my knuckles. "I love you," he said quietly before leaning over and pecking my cheek.

I smiled a little in return, mouthing, 'You too.'

--

"What?" I spat at Brian as he sat there silently, refusing to speak to me. Standing in the middle of the apartment he shared with his band members, I crossed my arms. He rolled his eyes, sighing heavily when I sat down next to him. "Damn it, Brian, _what_?"

"I'm tired of sleeping with a married man!" my boyfriend yelled. "I'm not getting all that I can from this relationship because of-"

"What, you don't want to do this anymore?" I cut him off suddenly. He stood up, groaned and shook his head before he glared down at me. "Then what do you want?" I asked gingerly, reaching up and taking his hand.

"I want you to leave him," Brian insisted, using a tiny whine that I could barely resist. "After he has the baby, of course," he added, reading the shocked expression on my face.

"Just... give me time, okay? I can't just up-and-leave him. Although, it isn't like we've been really close lately," I said, sighing. I knew that was a lie because just this afternoon Shane and I had one of the most intimate moments of our entire relationship. I continued, "We've been having problems and that's why I walked out a couple of months ago." Brian sat down on the couch. "I love him with all my heart; I mean, we've been together for seventeen years but he's just been so needy and clingy. The last few days before I left I was so close to hitting him."

Brian's eyes grew wide and he seemed frightened. "Did you?" he wanted to know, breath coming abnormally. I shook my head 'no.' "Did you want to?" Brian then asked softly, stroking my forearm.

I looked at the younger man beside me. "Maybe," I whispered, not really knowing what else to say. I closed my eyes and groaned loudly. "Look, I just want my baby and then I'm out okay?"

"I'll be waiting," Brian smiled, kissing me on the cheek.

* * *

**A/N: There's a picture of Brian in my profile.**


	8. Betrayal

On the way home from Brian's I stopped at an opened-all-night drugstore to pick up a few things for Shane just to cover my tracks. I walked in carrying a bag consisting of Diet Sprite to calm the nausea, Club crackers to ease the morning sickness and prenatal vitamins for the baby. I didn't know a thing about what to buy, so I asked a woman at the pharmacy. She laughed for a while before actually helping me.

I walked in to see Shane on the couch holding an empty carton of cherry flavored ice cream.

Smiling at me he said, "Hey."

"Can I have your cherry?" I asked as I admired his gorgeous face.

"You already took it," Shane giggled. "I _begged_ you to take it. Remember?"

Nodding, I put the plastic bag on the table. "I didn't think you'd be up."

"I couldn't sleep," he said quietly. "Mitchie was always up late when she was pregnant. You know we didn't even sleep in the same bed?" I simply shrugged. Why was he asking me that seventeen years later? "Where were you?" my husband asked, tenderness gracing his beautiful voice as he looked up and blinked innocently.

"I went to the store, for you," I replied before sitting down. In truth, I wasn't lying. I had gone to Brian's place and then to get the things for Shane and, of course, cigarettes. My husband didn't know that, though. The family always mentioned me smelling like smoke but I usually said that I worked with a guy who puffed a pack a day. They believed me.

"Mmm," Shane hummed, settling against my side. He leaned forward briefly, putting the empty pint of ice cream on the table and then kissed my cheek slowly, letting his lips settle into my skin. Whispering, he admitted, "Liz is really excited about the baby."

_The baby._

Those two words churned my stomach because I knew that Shane was mostly having the child for me. I nodded in response again. My heart began to beat a little faster when my husband reached around with an arm, trying to hug my waist. I met his hand with my own and took his, bringing it to my mouth and kissing it slowly. "Hey," I whispered as seductively as I could.

"What?" Shane responded.

Kissing his wrist the next time, I said, "The kids are asleep..." I trailed off as I placed a line of hot kisses up his neck and towards his ear.

With a soft moan he shook his head 'no.' I continued my display of affection and tried to move so that I was straddling him. Finally, Shane pushed me away and said more sharply, "Jason."

Pulling back, I looked at him with a frown and furrowed eyebrows. "What?" I practically hissed.

"No," Shane murmured in response, hugging his stomach.

"I want-"

"I said no!" my husband barked before standing up and walking upstairs.

"Moody bitch," I mumbled before getting up and going to the outside patio for a smoke and another phone call to Brian. It rang three times and he answered. I lit my cigerette and stuffed my skinny lighter in my back pocket so it was discretely hidden by my leather jacket.

"Hey," my boyfriend whispered. "It's kind of late, isn't it?"

"I want some-you so bad," I groaned. Throwing my head back, I took a puff of my cancer stick.

"Mmm, sexually frustrated?" Brian mused with a tiny chuckle. He hit the nail on the head.

"Shane's being so fucking moody," I told him quietly. "I started kissing-"

"I don't want the details, Jase."

"Yeah, well I can't stand it. Mood swings already, you know?"

"No," my boyfriend scowled, "I don't know. I'm not pregnant."

"You want someone growing inside of you?" I asked with a sigh before sitting down on the white swing that hung from the ceiling of the awning. I puffed again, slowly blowing the smoke into the night air.

"Maybe that's why he turned you down. He probably feels like shit."

"What's this? Brian's being sympathetic towards Shane Gray?" I wondered, raising my eyebrows and then sighing softly.

"Um, no. I'm thinking you're damn lucky I'm not the one that got knocked up."

"I didn't knock him up," I laughed. "He's my husband and- I don't know. 'Knocked up' sounds teenagerish."

"You're like a teenager sometimes," Brian replied. "Like when get all sexually frustrated," he broke to giggle, "and it's so cute."

"You're so cute," I retorted.

"Why don't you come over here?" he offered. "The guys are still out clubbing and they'll probably be gone for at least two more hours."

"What about Shane?"

"He got you pissed, right? Just come over here. He knows, or should know by now because I do, that you have a bad temper and leave when you don't get your way. Oh, and there's another teenage aspect of yours."

"Shut the fuck up, Bri. I'll be there in a minute."

--

Pulling me into the apartment, Brian shoved me against the wall and covered my mouth with his own. I kissed back fiercely, wrapping my arms around his waist that was smaller than Shane's.

After about fifteen seconds, Brian backed up and grinned for a while. "Jase?" he finally asked.

"Yeah?"

"You remember our first kiss?"

A smile grew until it was proudly positioned on my face. "Of course, how could I forget?"

"You remember how it was...I don't know. Initiated?"

"In the studio, I was reading your lyrics, you came in and cussed me out," I laughed a little. "Then you played me the song and I kissed you."

"Oh god and remember the time I blew you-"

"In my office!" I laughed, launching forward and gripping my boyfriend in my arms tightly. "It was breathtaking. And then I fucked you on the desk."

"Wanna repeat?" Brian cooed, reaching up and brushing hair away from my face.

I grinned and he pulled me towards the couch.


	9. Goodnight, Goodnight

I was asleep when my cell beeped twice in a row, letting me know that I received a text message. Brian woke up, too, when the phone made the noise.

Leaning over, I reached for it but Brian stopped me. He began to kiss the nape of my neck but I pushed him away before grabbing my phone and opening the message. It was from Shane.

_I'm sorry. Will you come home?_

"Who is it?" my boyfriend wanted to know, trying to take my phone away again.

"Shane," I replied, putting my phone back on the nightstand. Sitting up, I reached down and grabbed my underwear.

"What? You're not leaving are you?" Brian pressed, sitting up as well.

"Can I take a shower?" I enquired innocently before standing to my feet. "I smell like sex."

My boyfriend reached out and yanked the sheet on his bed, pooling it around his waist. "So you're going home?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Then no; you cannot take a shower." Brian stood abruptly, wrapping the blanket around his waist before going out of the room.

"Bri," I groaned, following him. "Honestly? I can't take a shower?"

He was sitting on the couch, back to me, and waved his hand in the air. "Whatever."

"Thanks," I breathed before gathering the rest of the clothes and heading to the bathroom. Ten minutes or so later, my hair was dry and styled just like it was before I left home. "Brian," I said softly as I walked into the main room with my cell phone in hand. He didn't respond. "Bri," I cooed, but then stopped when I saw his face. I could tell by the way his forehead was wrinkled that he was mad. Madder than mad; my boyfriend was pissed and I didn't know why. "What'd I do?" I asked with caution.

"I'm sick of never getting enough time with you," Brian spat. "You're always so concerned with Shane and never me! It isn't fair."

"It isn't fair to Shane that I'm having an affair, is it?" I retorted. Only that's when something clicked; it isn't fair to lie to the man I married just so I can have a cushy little life. I get the love and endearment from my husband, and the sex part comes from Brian.

"That's why it's called an af_fair_, Jase," Brian shot back. "Because it's _supposed_ to be fair."

Walking hastily to the door, I opened it and turned to look at my boyfriend. "I'll call you later," I mumbled before leaving and slamming the portal behind me.

--

Only about thirty minutes had passed since I received the text message from Shane. I hurried home, locking my Escalade and rushing up to the master bedroom.

"Jason?" my husband asked excitedly, sitting up in bed with messy hair and a hopeful expression. I stood there, smiling just barely before Shane scrambled out of bed and ran to me, flinging his arms around my neck. "Jase," he whispered while resting his forehead against mine. Our midsections brushed together and my stomach tingled when Shane said, "I'm sorry."

I laughed softly before smoothing my husband's hair down. "It's okay, Baby. I'm sorry, too. We leaned in and shared a brief, innocent kiss on the lips before breaking apart. "I'm exhausted," I sighed as I unzipped, unbuttoned my jeans, slipped them down and stepped out of them. "Bed?"

"Mmm, yes," Shane complied, pecking my cheek before lying back down on his side of the bed.

Sliding in next to him, I pulled the blanket over my body and nestled in beside my pregnant husband. I cautiously put an arm around him and he shifted so his nose was settled between my jawbone and neck. "How do you feel?" I questioned minutes later when the room was silent.

"Hm?" came Shane's delirious reply.

"The baby," I whispered as I moved my hand under his plain white t-shirt. I pressed my fingertips into the skin just barely and he whimpered. "Sorry," I breathed before starting to rub the warm, squishy flesh. Then I commented, "You feel bloated."

My husband laughed but it came out sounding sort of like a snort, causing me to chuckle. "I'm just going to get uglier as the weeks and months go on, so get a good look at the barely-decent me while you can."

"Aww, that isn't true," I cooed. "You're gorgeous, Doll."

"Jase," my husband smiled, "you haven't called me 'Doll' since Lizzy was little."

I giggled and we shared another kiss before I asked, "Can we stop being so disgustingly cute?"

"What if I don't want to?" I countered as I began to tickle his sides childishly. I was grinning like mad, nose scrunching up the way Shane loved.

"Jase!" he squealed, trying to pry my hands away. He began writhing on the bed and I moved to straddle my husband, careful not to put pressure on his midsection as my fingers danced against his covered body. "S-Stop it!"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and I stopped, looking back when it opened. I saw my little boy's face peek through the portal. He looked terrified and his eyes were wide.

"Hey, Buddy," I said as I slid from Shane's waist and back onto the mattress. "What's up?"

"I had a bad dream," Chris whimpered, opening the door a little wider and slipping in.

"Come 'ere," my husband called gently, outstretching his arms to our son. He ran into Shane's embrace and I settled down in bed again, waiting for my husband to do the same. When he did, Chris was nestled between our bodies comfortably. My husband's eyes locked with mine and we shared a simple kiss before Shane closed his eyes. Chris did the same soon after and as his head rested against my chest I looked at them both, thinking, 'What the hell am I doing?'

* * *

**A/N: I know that most of my chapters are short but I promise that if I get a good response from this one, I'll lengthen them. :)**


	10. Recall?

**A/N: I posted a poll and it'd be a lot of help if you guys would vote. :)**

* * *

Coming into the living room, my husband smiled at me, saying, "Morning." He sat on the couch with his laptop balancing on his legs, one hand on his belly and the other one working the finger pad.

I couldn't help but smile back because the elated expression on his face was delightfully priceless. "Morning. Shouldn't you still be asleep?"

"Mmm, I couldn't," Shane replied as I took a seat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders. "Oh my gosh, okay, I found this conception calculator that gives an estimated time that I got pregnant. It says I'm about six weeks and look," he gushes, pointing to the screen. "Isn't it cute?"

Tilting my head to the side, I look at the alien-like figure on the screen. "Cute?" I breathed. "Not what I call would cute, but maybe."

Shane laughed and leaned up, kissing my cheek. "No, look, the little black beady thing is the eye."

"I gotta get ready for work," I sighed heavily. "I wish I could just stay home with you..."

My husband lifted his warm hand from his belly and set it on my knee. "I know, Jase but don't worry about it. We need the money for the baby," he smiled again.

"You're excited, hm?" I wondered softly, kissing the side of Shane's head.

He nodded in return and looked up at me. "I made a doctor's appointment yesterday and was going to ask-"

"Of course," I agreed immediately. "Yes, yes, _yes_, I will go with you. What time is it?"

"One thirty," my husband beamed.

"You know what?" I asked in response. "I'll only work until noon and then I'll take you to lunch. And after the appointment we'll go shopping."

A frown began to appear on Shane's face as his smile faded. "Shopping?"

"For new clothes. You're going to be growing a lot, now, Shay, and I don't want you wearing things that don't fit," I explained.

"Jason, we can't afford to do that," Shane mumbled. "We need every penny we can save for the baby. I was going over our monthly bills and I think we might need to trade in Liz's car for something with less of a payment or no payment at all..."

I frowned and blinked a few times in an attempt to try to clear my mind. "She loves that car, Shane," I retorted. "It was a gift from me; you can't take a present away. We can't do that just because we made a mistake."

"A mistake?!" Shane replied abruptly, voice ringing with anger and hurt.

"No, no, no," I sighed. "What's not what I meant; I just meant that because the baby wasn't planned for doesn't mean Lizzy, Chris or either of us should suffer."

"Taking my daughter's ridiculously expensive car away and trading it in for something more realistic isn't going to cause any suffering," my husband huffed. "I'm going to break the news to her today."

"Baby," I tried to reason. "You can't do that..."

"I want to have a nice nursery like Lizzy did when she was a baby. Remember it?" Shane questioned, changing the subject.

"Mhm, but like I said-"

"Don't you have to go to work?" my husband asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Mhm," I chuckled. I kissed him briefly before standing up and going to get dressed.

When I had finished Liz was sitting in the kitchen with her dad. After pouring myself a cup of coffee and grabbing a muffin from the basket on top of the fridge, I kissed Shane again and bid my family a farewell.

"Nix the lunch and shopping plans," Shane reminded me.

"Mhm," I agreed even though I was planning to go shopping for him alone.

--

Around one fifteen I pulled up into our large house's driveway and honked. Shane exited our home in skinny jeans and a plain black shirt, smiling brightly.

When he opened the door to my Escalade, he frowned at the shopping bag. "What's that?" my husband questioned cautiously as he got in the SUV.

"I went shopping for you," I replied in the same tone before backing out of the driveway.

With one look at the tapered jeans with an elastic waistband, he sighed heavily and sat back in the seat with crossed arms. Ten minutes went by and not a word. Then suddenly, he spoke. "I can't believe you bought me _fat _pants," Shane huffed. "I'm not even showing!"

"Yes you are," I countered, glancing over at him before turning a corner. "You're so skinny because you, apparently, went on a hunger strike."

"Because _someone_ walked out on me," my husband retorted.

I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Could we please drop it?"

"Yeah," Shane sighed. "Are you going to behave yourself?"

"What?" I asked innocently.

"At the appointment."

"Oh," I said. "Yeah, sure."

A few minutes later Shane spoke up. "My jeans still fit. That _proves_ I'm not showing."

"They got loose because you lost weight," I reminded him.

"I lost weight because you left," he countered.

"Shane," I threatened.

"Jason," he replied. I let out a frustrated groan and my husband giggled. "I love you."

"Mhm," I chuckled in response, breaking into a smile. I reached across the console and put my hand on Shane's leg. "Love you, too."

By the time Shane and I got to the front desk at the pregnancy center, it was one thirty already. The lobby was empty, though, and after signing him in we sat down in the waiting room. Only minutes passed when a doctor poked her head out of the door and asked, "Shane Gray?" I nudged my husband and stood up, holding out my hand. Shane took it with a smile and we followed the woman dressed in white.

Dr. Johnson led us back to a room with a bed and an ultrasound machine. She asked, "Can you lie down on the bed for me?" My husband nodded with another smile and obeyed. She asked Shane various questions about the pregnancy and he started gushing like a school girl. I have to admit, it was adorable. "Is this your first baby?" the woman asked as she was recording my husband's information in a notebook.

"Mhm," Shane confirmed. "We have an adopted son and I have a daughter from a previous marriage but yeah, this is my first. Our little miracle baby," he beamed.

The doctor finished her documentation before saying softly, "Let's see what we have, shall we?" She turned, placed the notebook on the counter beside the sink and lifted up Shane's t-shirt. Her eyebrows rose as she poked around his slight protrusion. She smiled. "You have a nice little bump already. You have a pretty slim frame so I'm guessing you're probably around twelve weeks or so along."

"Three months?" my husband echoed, looking at me. I got up from my chair and stood beside him for support.

As the doctor turned the machine on, I reached over and took Shane's hand gently. I gave him a reassuring smile and his thumb stroked the tops of my fingers. A cold gel is squirted

After a few minutes of soft beeping, Dr. Johnson said, "There it is. There's your baby."

My face broke into a huge smile and I listened to the thumping heartbeat. I squeezed Shane's hand as he stared at the screen in love-stuck amazement. He was silent and I started panicking that maybe he forgot how to breathe or something. "Shay, look, there's our baby," I whispered.

After several more minutes of this, Dr. Johnson gave my husband a towel and started talking to me about scheduling the next appointment.

"And what about sex?" I asked without hesitation.

"Jason!" Shane snapped, glaring down at me from his examination table as he wiped the gel from his belly.

I cringed like a scolded puppy and sunk down in my chair a little, taking that as an 'I told you to behave!"

The doctor chuckled and nodded. "Having sex if perfectly fine."

Shane looked at me desperately, mumbling, "Can we go home now?"

I nodded, glancing at him. "Yeah, let's go."


	11. Cheater, Cheater

Walking into the house, I sighed and dropped my bag on the floor. The house was eerily quiet and slowly, I stepped into the living room to see my husband lying on the couch dejectedly. His face looked red as if he'd been crying and his eyes were closed.

"Shane?" I asked gently as I went over to him. "Baby, is something the matter?" Reaching out, I ran my fingers through his silky black hair.

"Lizzy is mad at me about the car," he whispered in response.

The disappointment and hurt in his voice was like a needle going through my heart slowly and painfully. My conscious was getting to me, and it getting to me fast. I had to tell Shane about Brian; I had to tell him I'd been lying and I had to ask him to forgive me. "Can I talk to you about something?" I asked.

My husband nodded and sat up, looking at me with innocence. "What is it?"

"I'vebeencheating," I muttered quickly. My voice was shaking and I felt like my heart was throwing to explode.

"What?" Shane replied. "I didn't hear you, Jase."

I brought my eyes up to his and made contact before whispering, "I'm having an affair. He simply blinked and stared at the floor. "Baby, I'm sorry," I went on to say. "I love you and I'm sorry. I'm going to end it tonight and just- I thought- I thought you deserved to know. Please, _please_ don't tell Liz and Chris," I begged.

Shane nodded slightly. Then he looked up and locked eyes with me once again. "I could never tell her that her role model is a cheating liar," he whispered, trying his best to sound hostile. It was useless; my husband just couldn't get angry. Slowly he got up, hand to his tiny bump and walked upstairs.

--

Around two hours later, he came downstairs. His hair showed signs of sleep and his cheeks had blanket tracks on them. I was sitting at the kitchen counter where I had been for the past few minutes, trying to figure out what to do.

"Shane," I croaked out. Just looking at him made me want to cry.

"What?"

"I'm really, _really_ sorry."

"I know, Jason," he responded simply. He nodded and continued, "The kids and I are going to my mom's for the next few days."

"God, please don't tell her," I whimpered out.

"I'm not going to tell anyone," Shane admitted, breathing out a simple, soft and patient sigh.

"Y-You guys are coming back, right?" I asked. My voice quivered and I felt like I was going to cry.

"Of course," he replied, looking up at me with those beautiful brown eyes. "I'm not going to end a seventeen-year-long relationship with the man that I love because of a stupid mistake he made. You're obviously feeling some kind of remorse and I know that you meant the apology you gave me..."

I tried to smile in return, but my muscles wouldn't work. I felt tears stinging at the back of my eyes and the droplets started to fall. "I'm so sorry," I choked again.

Shane let out a soft, sympathetic cluck of his tongue and stepped forward, hugging me and whispering, "Oh, Jason..."

I returned his embrace and squeezed his body lightly, shivering when his bump touched my flat midsection. "I love you," I whispered.

My husband simply nodded and ran his fingers through my straight hair before pulling away and kissing my cheek. He took a step backwards and looked up at me, bringing his hand to my face and stroking it once before turning and going back upstairs.

Around eight o'clock my family left. Shane and I actually hugged and shared a meaningful kiss before he walked out the front door. It was as if my husband had sympathy for my being so weak and bitchy. I couldn't love him any more so at that point.

The next step was breaking it off with Brian and I planned to do that right after my family was gone. I was already on the way to his apartment.

When Brian answered the door, he smiled. "Hi, Baby," he grinned, trying to kiss me.

I pulled way back and shook my head. "Bri, I told Shane about us. We're over."

"What?!" he hollered angrily. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes were almost black with concentration as he glared at me.

"I said _we're over_!" I screamed back. "I'm not leaving my family and I just- I don't want to be with you anymore."

"Leave," he whispered harshly, starting at the wall behind me and pointing to the door. When I didn't move he ordered, "Now!"

I cringed. "No fucking problem," I muttered under my breath as I then made my exit.

Going back to an empty house was like being shot in the heart. The silence killed me and I had no other choice but to drown my sorrows in a bottle of vodka.

* * *

**A/N: Mmkay, it was short but I'm extremely happy with this chapter for some reason. The next one will be of more length. :D**

**LOL at how I worded that.**


	12. Moving

After six days of being gone, Shane and the kids came home. My husband's belly looked so much bigger than it did when they left and he seemed so tired.

When I met him at the door I brought my arms around him, squeezing gently and he rested his chin on my shoulder. "Missed you," Shane whispered. His voice was sweet but I could tell he was exhausted.

Rubbing his already-curving back, I kissed the top of his head. "I missed you, too, Baby," I said in return and pulled away, smiling. "I found Liz a new car. I don't know if you wanted to pick one out for her or you wanted her to do it... Wanna see?" I asked hopefully.

Our eyes were locked and Shane's were shining brightly as usual. He put his palm to my face and brushed my cheek softly with his thumb before smiling in return. "Sure," he nodded.

Nodding, I took his hand and led him to the couch where the laptop was. He sat down next to me when I did so and, reaching out, I snatched the computer and went to the bookmarked page in Firefox. The car that was pictured in the left hand corner was a pink 2001 Beetle. I turned my head and kissed Shane's temple before asking, "What do you think?"

"I think she'll love the fact that it's pink, but I don't know what she'll say about the luxury factor," my husband sighed and put his hand on my knee. "But overall, I think she'll like it."

"Good," I smiled and kissed his cheek this time. "Because I already bought it."

"You did?" Shane asked, quirking an eyebrow. "How much was it?"

"With the Cadillac, the dealership gave me three thousand plus the Beetle."

"Oh my goodness, really?" he responded with a smile. "We could really use the money, too."

Giggling softly, I set the laptop in front of me on the coffee table and launched over, tackling my husband with a hug. He laid flat on his back and I straddled his waist before leaning down and pecking his mouth innocently at first. Then it grew into a hot, heavy, wet, slippery kiss and then into something else. Fingers ran through my hair as I worked on making small bruises on Shane's neck with my lips and teeth. We did this for at least seven more minutes before we were interrupted.

"Oh my- Dad!" Lizzy screeched, causing me to jerk back in surprise.

My husband tried to sit up but couldn't because my weight was holding him down. He reached forward and shoved me back gently before propping himself up on his elbows. "Oh, Liz," he smiled innocently. "I needed to talk to you."

"I walk in on you guys doing... _whatever_ it was you were doing and you tell me you need to talk to me?!" she demands, obviously traumatized. She pushed her hair away from her face and shuttered. "What, though?"

"It's about the car," my husband replied as he sat up fully.

Our daughter rolled her eyes and crossed her arms with a heavy sigh. "What about it?" she asked shortly.

"Jason found something else for you already."

At this point I got up and went into the garage, grabbing the key to the new pink vehicle from the hook in the kitchen door. After raising the garage door I backed the car into the drive way and went back inside. Lizzy looked at me strangely and I tossed her the key. She caught it, looked down at it oddly and then went outside.

My husband and I followed, crossing my fingers as I hoped for a positive reaction.

With one look at the car, Lizzy turned around and scoffed. "A Beetle? You expect me to go from driving a Cadillac to a _Beetle_? Honestly?"

Shane closed his eyes and put a hand to his growing belly. "Liz..."

"This is so unfair!" she groaned, glaring at both of us. "Why?!" she demanded. "Why'd you have to go and get yourself pregnant?!" she screamed at my husband before going inside of the house.

Looking over at Shane, I could see tears in his eyes. He wanted to cry but he was holding back. "Come 'ere, Baby," I murmured as I pulled him into my arms. He pressed his face into the side of my neck and took a deep breath. "She'll come around," I reassured him while playing with those dark, silky locks of hair.

"I thought she'd be a little more understanding," Shane whimpered. Not long after that I felt wetness against my skin and hugged my husband tighter before leading him inside.

--

Several days later after Shane and I had gone over all of our finances and cut more costs, we realized that we still had very little money saved. Not even enough to buy an entire set of nursery furniture. Our house note was more than twenty-five hundred dollars a month even after seventeen years of paying for it, and we just couldn't afford it any longer. That's when we started searching for a cheaper house nearby.

With the area of California that we lived in, that didn't come easy. All of the homes were at least a million dollars, and we just couldn't live that lifestyle anymore. Money from the band had fizzled out years ago and my retired gambling problem did nothing to help the situation.

It was an early Saturday morning when Shane and I found the house. We were lying in bed together and the laptop was propped up on my bent knees. My husband's head rested on my chest and his hand was stroking my bare stomach absently.

"What about that one?" he asked, pointing to a soft yellow home. "Where is it?"

"In... Oregon," I replied as I leaned in a little further to look at the screen. I clicked on the link and read about the house. It seemed perfect. There were five bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms and it was two stories tall. There was a two car garage and a nice covered porch. It was perfect from the outside and the cost wasn't that bad either; only two hundred and fifty-five thousand. It was well within our budget.

"That's only a state away," Shane commented and shifted to sit up a little. He kissed my cheek and sighed softly. "That'd be a pretty big change for everyone."

"You really wanna go look at it?" I asked, turning to him so that the tips of our noses were touching.

My husband smiled, rubbing his against mine and then he nodded. "It's so cute and we- well, we've been in the city our whole lives. It'll be something new; an adventure, maybe. Can you make an appointment for today? Or try to? It's only about a four hour drive."

"Mhm," I nodded.

--

Later at breakfast, I decided to speak up before Shane had to. "Um, we need to talk to you guys about something," I started nervously.

"What?" Liz responded first as she was texting. She flipped her phone closed and looked at her dad and me once more.

"We're going to look at a new house today," I sighed softly. "We can't afford the house payment any more and we still don't have enough money to even start planning for this baby," I explained to our daughter.

'Oh' was all she could say to that and then her smile fell. "Where at?" she asked quietly.

"It's a small town called Creswell," I answered, smiling at Lizzy. "From what we've read, it's beautiful there. The schools are wonderful…"

"It's in Oregon," Shane added, and just like that, Lizzy's composure was gone.

"What?" she demanded shrilly. "Oregon? As in... _Oregon_? As in pine trees and mountains and- really?" I nodded and she turned to her father. "Dad, I have- I have friends! I'm a junior and I'm supposed to go to prom next year and graduate with people I know and stay here until-"

"We're moving," my husband murmured.

"Dad!" Lizzy screeched, slamming her elbow down on the table and resting her head in her hand.

I was a extremely shocked because I'd never heard Liz talk to her father like that. She was always understanding and mature about things like this even with the decisions she didn't even have a say in. I didn't know why she was being so hostile.

"Elizabeth-" Shane started, but he was cut off.

"I hate you," she said quietly, eyes focused on my husband's hurt face. It was a quiet she was only using because she wanted to scream again. Lizzy abruptly stood from her chair and ran up to her room. I was waiting for the slamming door and sure enough, there it was.

A silence settled over the table. Chris was still eating quietly. I turned to see Shane looking down at his baby belly, arms circling around it and his hands were touching just below the protrusion. When a tear fell from his face I leaned over and kissed his lips gently before reassuring him with a whispered 'It'll be alright, Baby.'

* * *

**Is this story even worth writing anymore? No one seems to be reading it. It might disappear, too. :X**


	13. Lizzy

I allowed myself to leave the table and walked upstairs slowly before I went to talk to Elizabeth.

I heard soft music coming from behind the wooden door and knocked just barely with my knuckle. When there was no response, I knocked again. "Can I come in?"

"No," came the response.

I entered anyway. "You made him cry," I said gently as I closed the door behind me.

"How can you guys do this to me?" Lizzy asked, voice shrill and angry. "And I told you not to come in!"

"It's my house, Liz," I sighed. "I can come in if I want to. The polite thing to do is to ask first."

"Actually, in all technicalities, it's my dad's house," she replied smartly.

Leaning against the bedroom wall, I crossed my arms. "Something tells me you're upset about something other than having to move and get an older car. Wanna talk about it?"

"No," she huffed and crossed her arms, blinking and looking up at the ceiling. "There's nothing I want to talk about."

I narrowed my eyes and spoke in a slow warning tone, "Lizzy..."

"What?!" she screamed in reply.

I slowly walked over to her bed where she was sitting and took a seat next to her. I put my arms around her shoulders and hugged her tightly. "You can tell me anything; you know that."

My daughter nodded and took a deep breath before hugging me in return. "It's just- I never thought this would happen. I thought it would just be me, you, Dad and Chris for the rest of our lives together. I never thought Dad would be having a baby..."

I let out a small chuckle and kissed Liz's hair. "I know what you mean; I never thought he would either. It was just as big of a surprise for me as it was for you and Chris. I can't say I'm as upset as you are, though."

"I was happy at first," she admitted. "But then I got my car taken away and found out that we might be moving."

I squeezed my daughter once more before letting her go. "I told your dad that I really didn't agree with that choice but he insisted. I picked the car out by myself."

"Well, I love the fact that it's pink," Liz admitted.

I laughed again and responded with, "That's what your dad told me. He knows you so well, Liz. You know that, don't you?"

"I know," she nodded. "I just-..."

"What?"

"I kind of feel like he's betraying my mom," Elizabeth whispered while staring at the floor. "I mean, I know you love my dad but I just have a feeling that with the new baby you'll both be focusing on him or her more than Chris and me. I know that sounds a little selfish but-"

"Oh, no, I totally understand," I reassured her. "Liz, I know this baby wasn't in anyone's plans but it's what your dad has always wanted. Do you think you could at least try and be a little more understanding towards the situation?"

With a soft sigh, she nodded and we hugged once more. Pulling back, I held her at arm's length and said, "We need to leave to go look at the house within an hour so get showered, dressed and ready, okay?"

My daughter smiled and nodded before I stood up and exited. When I stepped into the hall I noticed the master bedroom door was closed and walked to it, paused, and then went inside. I saw a lump under the thick comforter and sighed softly when I heard crying.

"Jase?" my husband murmured behind tears.

Before I climbed in bed next to Shane I rolled my eyes because seriously, hormones were getting the best of him.

When I slid onto the mattress and against my husband's back he sniffled. "I want an abortion," he whimpered. "Nobody wants this baby but me," my lover then sobbed. "Liz isn't even willing to change something as small as the car she drives to assure-"

"Angel," I murmured against the back of his head as my hand trailed over the tiny bump. "I want this baby; we always have wanted one of our own. I just talked to her about everything, alright? Just calm down; your hormones are way out of whack."

"They are _not_!" my husband insisted and raised his head in the air to sniffle, which I found kind of odd. "Why are you attacking me all-of-the-sudden?!" Shane insisted as he sat up to glare down into my eyes. "For the same reason you had an affair?! Because you're a selfish _pig_?! Get out! Right now!" he ordered, pushing me out of bed. For a fragile pregnant thirty-eight-year-old, Shane was pretty strong.

I silently stood to my feet and shook my straight hair from my face. I glanced at my husband and he pointed to the door of our bedroom while glaring at me.

I took a deep breath and calmly walked out, holding back from saying anything at all.

--

When it was time for us to head to Oregon, Liz met me downstairs with Chris.

"Where's Dad?" she asked, curiously looking towards the master bedroom.

"He was having a bit of a meltdown earlier but he said he-" I cut myself off when I saw my husband emerge from upstairs.

He was wearing the new skinny jeans with the elastic waist that I bought him, a white button-up shirt that was tailored to fit his growing body and over that was a simple black cardigan. When he reached the spot where the rest of us were standing he looked up at me innocently. "What?" I shook my head and started to lead my family out to the car, but Shane instructed Liz to take Chris outside first because he needed to talk to me. "Jase," he started softly, reaching down and taking my hands. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier and I didn't mean it." He raised my knuckles to his mouth and kissed them softly. "Love you," he then beamed with sweet eyes and a slight smile.

I sighed softly, grinned back and then hugged Shane. "You too. Ready to go?"

He nodded and pulled me out to the car, stopping when we got to my side. "Oh!" Shane giggled. "Kisses," he reminded me before stealing a soft peck from my mouth and then prancing to the other side of my SUV.

I rolled my eyes before opening the door and hopping in on the passenger's side of my vehicle. How was I going to deal with six more months of these mood swings?


	14. IMPORTANT QUESTION

I'm seriously considering taking up this story again and continuing with it. Let me know if you're still interested? Thanks. :D


	15. A Date?

**Shane's POV**

"So exactly how far away is this place?" I asked, speaking softly in an attempt to not wake Chris who was sleeping in the backseat. Liz was leaning against the window, too, and she was out as well.

Jason glanced at me from behind his large black sunglasses, our fingers interlaced and resting on the console out of habit. "How long have we been gone for?"

"Almost two hours."

"It'll probably be about an hour or so. Why?"

"Because I have to pee..."

My husband sighed impatiently. "We stopped thirty minutes ago."

I frowned. That didn't matter. "But I have a fetus resting on top of my bladder."

"Shane," he replied, irritated as he veered off of the highway and onto the side of the wooded area we'd reached about ten minutes ago. He looked at me, expecting something.

"What?" I asked.

"Go," he said, pulling his hand from mine and motioning to the woods at the right side of the vehicle.

"In there?" I replied, turning my head and making a face of disgust.

"_Yes_, in there," Jason confirmed, pulling his sunglasses from his face and tossing them onto the dashboard. He didn't really need them anyway; it was overcast today.

"Oh, no, no, no," I insisted, shaking my head stubbornly. "You're going to turn the car around and-"

"You _are_ a man, am I correct?" he broke in. "At least, the last time I checked you were. But you're being so moody it's-"

"Stop interrupting me," I hissed. Then I let out an aggravated grunt. "As I was _saying_, you're going to be a good man, turn the car around, and drive back to the truck stop so your pregnant husband can relieve himself civilly."

"Shane? _Honestly_." He sighed, furiously growing impatient. "Just go behind the fucking trees," he ordered bitterly, grabbing my forearm and shoving me slightly into the side door of his vehicle.

"Fine," I grumbled. I opened the door and sunk down in my chair a little bit, unbuckling my seatbelt. With tears in my eyes I slowly walked behind the pines, coming back a little longer than a minute later. When I got back into the Escalade I bucked up and wiped my teary eyes with the sleeve of my black cardigan, pulling them down over my fingers right after. As my husband pulled back onto the road I leaned forward, getting ready to open the glove box.

"What're you doing?" Jason demanded.

"Getting hand sanitizer," I responded softly; innocently.

"It's not in there."

I ignored him, putting my hand on the handle. "I'm just-"

"It's not in there, Shane. Goddamn it, don't you listen to anything I say?"

I opened the glove box anyway, revealing the source of Jason's paranoid anger: a pack of cigarettes along with a lighter was lying on top of the Cadillac's owner's manual. I slammed the box closed and sunk down in my seat, crossing my arms. "Why?" I muttered, trying my hardest not to show my feelings of betrayal, hurt and anger. Now was not a good time to make Jason mad. He had a horrible temper, one that could cause him to lose control of himself and then the car, ultimately involving us in a fatal crash or something like that. Maybe that's just me being paranoid, though.

"I told you not to open it. Did I not tell you? That's what's wrong with you; you don't listen to anything I say or tell you to do." He sat back in his seat, left elbow on the door of his car and right hand on the wheel. "Any you wonder why I was having an affair?" he grumbled under his breath, thinking I didn't hear anything.

"Any you wonder why I want an abortion," I muttered back. Only it wasn't a rhetorical question.

The car was silent for a long fifteen minutes. I stared out the windows until someone touched my hand with icy fingers. If I didn't know better I'd like it was Edward Cullen. But the voice that spoke after that wasn't like velvet.

"Shay," Jason breathed out. I turned to him silently, listening. He lifted my fingers to his mouth, pressing his lips to my white gold wedding band, allowing his skin to touch that on my ring finger. "I didn't mean it." His voice dropped lower now, as if he had suspicions that Liz was listening in. When I glanced back at her several minutes ago, she seemed like she was dead to the world. "I don't... I'm not even sure why I did it. The affair, I mean. It wasn't your fault. I was being so... _stupid_," he gritted out through clenched teeth. He took several seconds to regain his composure. "Please, just... just know that." He released my hand.

"Oh," was all I could whisper. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered- or it could have been the baby doing flips- but all the same I felt warmed by Jason's actions. I hadn't seen my husband this affectionate since the days before we brought Chris home as a newborn. Sure there was that afternoon when I told him I was pregnant. He held me on his lap and I played with my hair and we talked softly to each other. And I didn't at all feel threatened by Jason's hook-ups with someone else. I knew it was for sex, something that I didn't give him much anymore, something that I never felt like I _wanted_ to give him anymore. Contrary to Jason's words, it was my fault. That's why I've never blamed him for betraying me.

"Did you mean it?" he asked slowly.

"Mean what?" I replied, unsure of what he meant. I then reached into the front pocket of my jeans, remembering that I always carried a miniature bottle of hand sanitizer in it, and cleansed my hands.

It's almost a whisper. "You want an abortion?"

"Oh." In a way I did, but in a way I didn't. I was already three months along and the thought of ending an innocent life that played no role in my pathetic drama... it wouldn't be fair to the baby.

"Is it because of me?"

"I didn't say I did or didn't mean it," I muttered, biting my bottom lip. I released the flesh when I realized that I wasn't a teenager anymore and needed to grow out of immature habits. I put my hand sanitizer back in my pocket. "No," I confirmed confidently. "I want this baby. Your baby. Our baby."

Jason raised his eyebrows. "At all costs?"

"At all costs," I confirmed. "Even if it means having to get a part-time job at a convenient store or-"

"Oh, that's _not_ happening," my husband interjected sharply.

I rolled my eyes, preparing to fight him on this. "Why not?"

His tone was lighter now. "Because what if you were working and someone came in to rob the place? You'd be putting yourself and the baby in danger."

Well, that made sense. "O-Oh," I replied. "It's not because you don't want me to work?"

"No, I think it'd be good for you to get out of the house some." He glanced towards me and smiled. "You stay home too much."

"Well, you work so who else is gonna clean the house and stuff?"

"You know, I don't help you enough either. Shay, if I ask you something can you give me an honest answer?"

"What is it?"

"Do I make you feel appreciated?"

Was Jason really asking me this? Of course I don't feel appreciated. Not by him, anyway. He hardly ever thanks me for the things I do – washing the laundry, ironing his clothes before work every morning, cooking him and the kids' dinner, making sure his cell phone was always charged. "N-Not really," I stuttered, cringing and expecting an outburst or a slap. Something along those lines. Hopefully an outburst. Jason never really lost his physical temper unless we were alone. Right now Chris and Elizabeth were sleeping in the backseat.

"I was afraid you'd say that," Jason replied, hurt. "But I work and let you stay home," he offered desperately.

"But I want to work, too, Jason..."

"I'm sorry, Shane." I could tell his voice was sincere, but I'd hit a deep spot of hurt when I told him that I didn't feel appreciated and I regretted it. "I'm gonna take you out tonight. I-I mean, if you want to go..."

I perked up; we hadn't been on a date alone together for the past five years or so. "Really?"

Jason reached over, taking my left hand in his right. "Would you like that?"

"I'd love it," I confirmed in a happy whisper, leaning over and pecking his cheek softly. When I returned to my normal position I saw the upcoming green sign, signaling our exit. We were only miles away from what I had a feeling would be our future home.


End file.
